If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
