Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
