there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
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I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
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I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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