..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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