Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
