shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She's JV to your varsity
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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