I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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