Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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