super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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