she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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