I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
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