Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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