And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
