Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
