apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
