she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We had to coat check the pizza.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
