just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
