so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
