it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
