Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
