Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We don't watch enough power rangers
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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