yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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