We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
