Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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