Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i love accidental penises.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
