White coat. Heels.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
