I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
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I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
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Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.