I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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