i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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