My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.