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• (714): View more from California

  So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him

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• (310): View more from California

  something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up

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• (914): View more from New York

  My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.

  (845): View more from New York

  She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?

  (914): View more from New York

  well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  You left your underwear on the fireplace

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  How was your weekend?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"

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• (716): View more from New York

  Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?

  (716): View more from New York

  If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.

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• (415): View more from California

  So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar

  (513): View more from Ohio

  That's fucking great actually

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