Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away

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(713): View more from Texas

I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.

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(585): View more from New York

Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.

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(660): View more from Missouri

I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.

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(602): View more from Arizona

My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets

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(312): View more from Illinois

Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.

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