i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
