it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
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just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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