Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Congratulations! We have a period
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