508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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