if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
