HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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