Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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