Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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