shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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