I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize