I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
