she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my shit smells like andre
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
