I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
