I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize