this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
