i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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