That's intense
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
