Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
