sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
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Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
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we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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