Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
