i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
