Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
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As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize