I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize