funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize