dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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