I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize