Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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