Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize