The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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