I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize