So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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