the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
